


Infatuation

by young_godd



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 05:02:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10073069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/young_godd/pseuds/young_godd
Summary: My love for a teacher, my longing, my message about him.





	

You were a different. You broke the mold that I was so used to. You were a teacher and I was a student, out wordless couldn't collide outside of the classroom. I have always wondered why you did it. Why you put up with the incessant talking, the attitudes, and the difficult students. Millennials are pitiful. You had your good days and your stressful ones. Small children, toddlers, running around at home. A wife you never really talked about, for reasons unknown. Maybe you just wanted your privacy, maybe there were problems. As terrible as it is, I was hoping for the latter.  
It's only been a year since I've moved on to another grade and out of the school, yet you've probably forgotten my name. You've probably forgotten how I look. More than that, I'm sure you've forgotten how I used to stay after class or stop by at the end of the day just to talk to you and how my eyes shined and dimples appeared in your presence. Occasionally a rose petal blush setting across my cheeks. But, I haven't forgotten you. Not at all. How could I? You were the one who got me through the years, however, you would never know this. How would you? I was and just a silly girl with a silly crush. You were a husband, a father. You had your life and I had mine. They would never intersect other than in the comfort of the science room.  
You were gorgeous, everyone knew. I could never imagine explaining how truly beautiful you were. You weren't perfect but your imperfections were what was most beautiful about you. I wish I could capture how your eyes sparkled and shined with every tangent we took. Brown salt and pepper hair, styled so effortlessly perfect. You were a fine wine that only got better with age. Your smile was like a beautiful disease. It was contagious to anyone around. I should be immune, but you always made me weak. You had the most beautiful hands, as banged up as they'd been. You always had your tea mug, I think that was one of you most interesting quirks. But how I had longed to replace your mug with my hand. Maybe you would have been able to warm my cold heart.  
I wasn't the only one who had been secretly seeking your affections. There were plenty of other girls who knew you were attractive with devious intentions. There was a girl who I shall not name before I had fallen for you who would talk about all the things she'd wished she could do with you, I never understood why she would ever be interested in a man already claimed. That is until I had fallen too.  
Your looks enthralled me, but it was your personality that was truly captivating. Your love of anything in relation to science drew me in. I was fascinated by your passion, however that fascination turned to a passion of my own. It grew slowly, like the blossoming of a flower. With each new discovery of you a new flower blossomed. Not long after the first moment, I spoke to you as yourself and me as myself a garden was in full bloom. Your sense of humor truly amazed me. You had perfected sarcasm and were a bit sardonic. A little puny and dark. You never failed to make me laugh.  
Your voice. How I wish I could hear it one more time. Your voice was sultry, yet sweet. Rough yet soft. It was like dark chocolate being melted. Smooth yet bitter, with a hint of sweetness. Your laugh was contagious. It came from somewhere deep inside you, it was full, it was like watching honey pour. I've imagined the sound over and over again but it's been so long the memory has faded. I've longed to hear just once more. Be the one to make you laugh, make you proud, make you happy.  
Infatuation. I hadn't believed I had been infatuated with you. But I was. I truly was. I had been infatuated with your smile, your laugh, your voice, your looks, your thoughts, you.  
I had a dream a few nights ago. The beginning was truly beautiful. I had come back to see you just one last time. To see you, to hear you, to smell the aroma of tea, to ever so innocently touch you. I saw you through the window in the door, you were leaning over a table drawing lines with precision. I knocked on the shaky door with a shakier fist and gave you a small smile. You looked up with a look of surprise but after seeing me, there was something more. Excitement. You sprinted to the door and unlocked it for me. I walked in and you pulled me into the coziest hug I've ever had. It was warm and long, more than that it felt safe. I felt like there was nowhere else in the world I should be. The rest of the Dream it was grazes and faint touches when the students couldn't see. Secret smiles and hidden glances. There was a look in your eye, maybe it was lust maybe it was love, whatever it was I wish it could have been real. Even as a dream you still had your morals, you were conflicted and knew what we felt was wrong. You cared and you didn't, you touched and you didn't, you desired but wouldn't. Parts of me wished you had. I knew it was just a dream but I wanted to know what it felt like to be slammed against the white board with your hands on my ass and in my shirt. My legs around your waist and my fingers in your hair. Hickeys on my neck and your mouth on mine.  
My desires got the best of me. I just so desperately wanted to see you, to talk to you, to hear your voice. I emailed you a couple nights ago. It was completely innocent. I asked if I could come volunteer in your class for credits. I spent so much time perfecting the email, I tried to appeal to your perfect sense of humor. I waited three long nights for your response. It never came. I asked another teacher to ask you to check your emails, shortly after that you responded. All you said was that it had been three days and that it was “your bad.” You didn't answer my question nor say anything conversational at all. I emailed back asking about my question, you still haven't responded. Maybe you have forgotten who I am, maybe you've forgotten all about me. I'm not going to say it hurts because it so dearly does. I'm not going to say I'm not disappointed, that would be untrue. You were the one person who never let me down, the person who treated me like an equal, kind and strong but hidden behind walls. I understand, though, you were my universe and I was just one tiny star within your many galaxies.  
My memories and fantasies are all I have left. Maybe one day when I'm older and of legal age, I'll be attractive and all you're looking for. You'll be divorced and I'll be single. I would say yes. You could be my sugar daddy, you wouldn't even need to pay. I'm wrong and vile for wishing for a future like this. However, this is just a wish, a silly fantasy, a hope, nothing but a dream. I wish you the best and hope you and your boys are well. I hope your marriage stays intact and your life stays in the direction you wish for it to be. I know I'll never have you, that I'm just a stupid girl with a silly crush. I hope you get everything you want in life. My admiration and love will always be a silent whisper through the trees wherever you go.


End file.
